I hope you don't mind
but I have made this eulogy deliberately light hearted as I think it's what Chris would have wanted.
My story begins not with
Chris's birth, but with mine, you see I don't recall much of Chris's life before this.
And so in January 1960 the Dolphin Brother trio
began.
Chris was nearly 11 when I went from being a twinkle in my
Fathers eye to something more tangible, so my first real memories were from 26 Carpenters Billingshurst. Chris was always into electronics and his first job was repairing TV's in Wilmers Pulborough and he went on to work for Southern Rentals, Merrow Sound and Redifon to name but a few, a definite upside being we always had the latest kit and HI Fi's and in these early days he had obtained a shiny new Grundig reel to reel tape recorder.
Also around this
time my brother John and I would collect the copious amount of conkers locally and one autumn day decided to record a documentary about a conker testing station, this involved pouring thousands of conkers from very large boxes down the stairs. In order to record this epic event we asked Chris if we could borrow his precious tape recorder. Now Chris had a lifelong aversion to all things related to bodily functions, something we will return to later, so there is a degree of folly in lending two pre-pubescent boys a tape recorder, so imagine Chris's horror then when playing back the tape at a later date, to find not only the conker testing station documentary, but the final of the Carpenters 1968 wind breaking competition.
Needless
to say the recorder was not lent again (knowingly) and I suspect Chris may have replaced the microphone. Yes small boys are horrible aren't they.
Shortly afterwards we were to move to ifold, a place
we all loved, unfortunately however and shortly after arriving, our Father died unexpectedly in 1971, without hesitation and with Chris only being around 22, when he should have been setting off for a life of his own, he stepped into the role of father figure and helped Mum keep the roof over our head, food on the table give presents at Christmas and generally live a life without want, a sacrifice we can never repay, but this was the mark of the man he was.
Chris still
being into electronics, he would spend hours in his room tinkering, creating and mending things, soldering smoke wafting under the door (at least I think that is what it was) and Chris created his first radio transmitter. Now whilst most of you know Chris as a fine upstanding and law abiding citizen, he was in fact a Pirate. His love of Radio Caroline, Kenny Everett and the like, meant that Radio Ifold was born, using my brother John's disco set up and the large number of records we owned, we merrily broadcasted to the Ifold community and beyond until we felt that we may be rumbled and end up on the wrong end of the law for not having a broadcasting licence. What a rebel.
Wherever we lived we were always the centre of the
community and our parties were epic usually instigated by our mother, something we all seemed to have inherited from her. My memories of this time were of fun and laughter, especially around the meal table, where dinner time usually descended into riotous laughter often at the expense of my poor Mother or Chris, but they were fun times.
The
next move was back to Carpenters Billingshurst, where by this time Chris had miniaturised the radio transmitter into a tobacco tin, he would have made a good Q for James Bond. Testing it one day Chris set Off and I played the music and after a while he returned and said, lt l was the other Side of Pulborough and it went dead", I know I said a GPO van came roaring onto the estate and I thought we'd been rumbled, so I disconnected it and threw it under your bed. Alas poor Chris never found
out just how powerful his radio in a fag tin
was.
We then moved to West Chiltington, yes we moved a lot and
Chris having had an almost lifelong interest in politics from his Young Conservative days, became the local Conservative Councillor and sat on the Horsham District Council for many years serving the community. I always said the only woman Chris would have married was Margaret Thatcher, but luckily for the rest of the family, she was already taken, although I do also seem to remember him having more than a passing interest in Aneka Rice's bottom on treasure hunt along with 90% of the rest of the male population at the time. One particular instance of note was when he was asked to sit on a Council committee to view the newly released Monty Pythons the Life of Brian, to see if it was suitable for airing to the local population. Now with all three of us boys being great Python fans, this was only going to go one way. Chris roared his way through the film while the other stuffy councillors tutted and shook their heads and muttered blasphemy and I believe Chris was the only one to vote in favour of it, it was however sadly banned.
Moving on a few years and Chris
and I found ourselves sharing a cottage together in Shipley where we continued to have epic parties, many stories could be told, but I will save you from the gory details, but needless to say many of my friends still talk about them.
Whilst there one of Chris's few
weaknesses came back to haunt him again due to his enduring kindness, you see Chris was extremely squeamish when it came to blood and needles and would regularly feint at the sight of them. Around this time I was given a Tabby kitten I called Tigsy, who once grown, decided to have a nightime liaison with the local farm cat and shortly before I was due to go on holiday to Greece, presented us with five kittens. Returning from holiday, I was greeted to the news that Tigsy had sadly been run over on the Shipley road and Chris had once again stepped in and fostered and weened the kittens for a fortnight and they were now on solid food. We found home for three and kept two one of which we called Tigsy.
Now I am not sure what
Chris had fed them during my absence, but they turned into the Arnold Schwarzeneggers of the cat world, both weighing over a stone and whilst being very sweet, would regularly terrorize and slaughter the local wildlife at night, leaving their poor victims remains on the kitchen floor.
As Chris rose before me most mornings, I would
regularly hear his horrified shrieks and expletives about said bloody cats and what the hell would they slaughter next, this was my cue to mop up.
It was therefore one night when coming home, I came upon
a small deer that had been struck by a car and I stopped to see if I could help the poor stricken creature. Alas there was nothing to be done and as lay it on the verge, a thought came over me that it may be a jolly good jape to wedge the poor thing in the cat flap and await the terrified screams the following morning, fortunately for the sake of the cats lives, Chris's heart and our peaceful co-habitation, I resisted the temptation, but this potential practical joke is such legend as to be remembered by friends from around the world when they paid tribute to Chris recently on Facebook.
Soon Chris sold the guesthouses he owned with Michael
In Hove, having moved from electronics to the hospitality industry some time before and they bought the Dorset Hotel on the island. They proceeded to improve and make it the thriving business it became. Also around this time, Chris met his future partner and husband Colin and our Sister Pam re-joined the family, so the family was complete again and I know how fond Chris was of Pam and Graham.
Mum and my
Stepdad Bill followed to the island shortly afterwards, but it wasn't long before we lost Bill and Chris once again became the daily contact and constant support for mum.
Sadly Chris's health
started to fail and his later years were sometimes very difficult and frustrating for him but with Colins love, support and care he still had a good life, in the end he just needed to rest.
Son, Brother,
always selfless, kind, funny and caring, he was not just my big brother he was our Hero and he lived a good life.
In the words of
your beloved Kenny Everett Chris , you always did it in the best possible taste.
Rest easy my Brother Love you always